Today, a little girl grabbed my hand. She was small in stature, with big, curly hair, full of energy and life. She held my hand tightly and said, “I’ve been waiting for you.”
She went on, “I knew you would come. It took so long, but I always knew you would.”
And then, silence. We sat together, hand in hand, and in that moment, everything felt right. Exactly where I was supposed to be, all these years.
She told me she had been watching. Watching me grow up, watching my creativity slip away, watching as I lost my spirit, and as I began to follow what others told me to do. She knew why I was conforming, why I was trying to fit in, but she could see that I wasn’t living the way I was meant to. She reminded me of the days when I would dream big, believe that I could be anything I wanted.
She had been waiting, waiting for me to realize what I had lost, waiting for me to return to myself. She watched as I followed paths that weren’t mine to follow, as I made choices that would eventually lead me to walk back in the direction I was always meant to go. She cried many times, not out of anger or disappointment, but because she knew I needed to walk that journey. She knew I had to go through it to return to this place, the place where I could finally see the truth that had always been there.
And then, she reached into a little, beautiful bag and pulled out some of the most incredible drawings, crafts, images and notes I’d ever seen, they were mine. All my favourite drawings, the pieces of art I had created over the years. She kept them, knowing that one day, I would need to see them again. She knew I would need the reminder that the spark of creativity, the spirit that had always been inside me, had never truly disappeared, it was always there, waiting for me to come back to it.
As we went through the pieces, some old, some new, tears began to run down my face. I realized how much I had let that little girl down. I had allowed myself to forget the spirit she spoke of. I had let the fire within me fade, and I hadn’t given her the strength she needed. She had been watching me all these years, looking up to me, and I had failed to be the person she needed me to be.
But then, she squeezed my hand and pulled me in for a tight embrace. With such love, she said, “I’m proud of you. I’m proud of the person you are, and the person you’re becoming. You never let me down. I knew you would come back. That spirit, that light within you, it was always meant to shine bright. You’re meant to do big things. You just needed the world to give you lessons along the way so you could come back.”
That little girl is me. And now, I’m ready to follow her lead.
